The storm

[face2face]

Under the covers I feel safe
Outside those two panes of glass that act as my wall to the unknown
thunder rumbles and the rain hollers with pain and agony as it hits the pavement
The once sturdy branches now rap against the roof like limp rags seeming to shout angrily at me
A mysterious feeling becomes me and my strength becomes persistent
I move from my room to the beckoning front entrance and stand at the brink of mother nature's hell
What entices me, I can't find
I step outside into a totally different world
The lighting illuminates the sky for brief seconds, but seems to stay with me
For when I close my eyes, I can see the streaks of fire they left
The wind whips at everything it can touch, nothing seems out of reach
The storm is alive, taking over whatever it can
With a swift grace of wind the clouds start to roll away leaving a grey sky, the end of nature's war
I find myself inside again, missing the thrill and bored with the clear
Till the next act of nature's evil way I return to the panes of glass that are my wall
and I shut the blinds, my mask to the burning light of peace

[ranter]

impressed...good feeling...you got me enwrapped (is that a word?) in the moment...good development of a scene and how it affected you...great word choice (ag, am i repitive or what)...i felt like i was there. keep posting

[parch]

a lot of adjectives, adverbs and description but not as much meaning as space it takes up. not all the words seem to have a purpose. they are sometimes just there.

___---parch

[machinery]

like parch said, a lot of descriptions..and I got lost in them...not sure if all of them need to be there..it takes away from the poem..yeah it adds flavor..but if you put too much pepper on your mash potatoes....they aren't as good anymore.....see what I am saying....tone down on the beauty..and let the raw feeling of this come out too.....